Understanding, Acceptance, Allowing… Power Tools in Coaching

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Hello Magnificent Coaches,

Recently I had the pleasure of speaking with Mariana Florea, a Life, Work, Balance Coach who lives in Belgium. Here Web site address is: http://www.yesyoucan.be

(One of the many remarkable things about our community that I cherish is our geographical scope – we have coaches around the world, connecting with one another through the power of the internet and spirit! Just think of the synergy.)

Our conversation revolved around the nature of criticism, and whether or not it has any place in the coach-client relationship. Mariana offered the following quotation from Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job:

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie

Even though I have heard some potential clients say, “Just tell me the whole truth. I want and need constructive criticism to move forward. I need to know what is wrong so I can fix it,” criticism has no place in the coaching process. Coaching is not about fixing, it is about bringing forward the client’s best answers to bear on their questions.

When we criticize, we don’t help…we paralyze the situation, there’s no movement forward. According to one of my magnificent mentors, Peter Reding, constructive criticism is an oxymoron. Criticism is never constructive, never empowering. Energetically, criticism will “shut down” a person. And then, their best answers become difficult to find.

Understanding, acceptance, allowing… all of these are more powerful!

As coaches we know the power in understanding…when a client comes to a coaching session and tells me that they didn’t do what they were going to do, I CELEBRATE! The fact that they came to the session, and were so open to say they didn’t do the work - that’s a real act of courage. They are looking for an invitation to move forward.

As you show your clients that understanding and acceptance are more empowering, you are a powerful force for change, both within them, and on a larger scale, within society. It ripples out, affecting the consciousness of the entire world.

To explore this topic more deeply, I invite you to share in the K-Cast conversation between Mariana and myself, simply click on the title bar above.

And if you have a topic that you would like to interview me on, I want to invite you to join me in a podcast. Just send an email to Kim at assistant@karencappello.com.

Love and Great Joy,

Karen

karen@karencappello.com
www.karencappello.com